buckets of crazy

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Dragon boating. Hired movers. Worked with heat-moldable plastics and foam to make costume armor. Moved a fishtank to a new apartment. Built an aquarium stand. Made a video (of ridiculous). LICKED AN ICE CREAM CONE (got a frenectomy so now I can stick out my tongue).

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't really do resolutions this past year. There was just a lot going on. I did start using HabitRPG/Habitica, though, so I've been working on actually eating lunch and getting regular on doing any basic self and pet care. I have some goals in mind for the new year... they're not super organized yet, but let's try:
- exercise to get strong enough to kick ass/keep up once the dragon boating season starts, also to keep my back from being stupid and to have better body mechanics at work
- get back to meal planning
- make enough things to be in at least one craft fair in 2016
- figure out the next steps for my career
- take time for myself to actually relax and rejuvenate AND NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR IT
- make time to connect with friends, whether in person, chat, skype, or letter
- develop a meditation/mindfulness practice --- I'm starting with a Moments jar, where I write down lovely moments and read them at the end of the year. I have one from NYE in mind.

To Resolution Revolution it up, my word is selfcare.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No? I have so many pregnant friends right now oh god I'm dying of baby rabies. Must make so many tiny socks.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.

5. Did anyone close to you get married?
Ben and Joe! Got a couple weddings coming up in 2016, too!

6. What countries did you visit?
Nada. It's been a while since I've been able to do much of any travel. We went to Chicago for Ben and Joe's wedding and to see Erica and Sam and the kids in November, though.

7. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
I'm getting sick of saying this: Financial stability. Better health. Better time management.

8. What events/dates from 2015 will be forever etched in your memory?
My 10 year college reunion
breaking the snow record in Boston
Meeting Jessie? Deciding to be friends with that group, at least.
The visit to Chicago, particularly time spent with the Teslas and their kids
Surprising Mom for her 60th bday

9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly? Not dying. It was a rough year. But setting up all the things to get care and such is definitely an achievement. Purging/decluttering a lot of shit before moving was also a pretty good achievement.

10. What was your biggest failure?
I feel like my biggest failure was missing so much work in the fall from illness and depression, but I also feel like that's a symptom.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Got stitches (and a tetanus shot) for a cut in my hand after catching a knife that fell. That was fun to work with. I've had minor back tweakiness and have had to have a series of three cortisone shots in my right foot for a Morton's neuroma. (The second doc I saw for my foot was amazing and explained why I'm getting this pain instead of just giving me a shot... that was super recently, so I'm gonna get some orthotics and new shoes and hope it doesn't come back this time.) I had a MAJOR depression flare when trying to change brainmeds, and basically lost most of October and all of November to feeling like shit. Threw out my back and had to go to the ER in the last week of December, just to end on a strong note.

12. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably my laptop.

13. Whose behavior merited celebration?
This still stands: Will's. Over and over and over again. He's just really fucking great, folks. Also Aria has been awesome.

14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-landlord was frustrating up through the very end. One of my roommates, at times. A client (who has since been fired). The TrashMan who lives in the dark parts of my brain. Whoever failed at making Cheerios actually gluten free. Trump + his supporters. The entire system that has cops killing black folks and getting away with it.

15. Where did most of your money go?
Moving and rent and paying off my student loans

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Gluten-free Cheerios! Making costume armor! Decorating for my Halloween party! Making spooky food! Making new friends!

17. What song will always remind you of 2015?
The entire Original Cast Recording of Hamilton

18. Compared to this time last year are you:
i. happier or sadder? Tough one. Sadder most recently, so it sticks more.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, but also stronger.
iii. richer or poorer? Out of debt, so that's pretty great. Feeling the hit from not getting paid in October, though.

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Well, while I still didn't get my boat in the water, I did get in a boat in water, so I'm gonna call that half achieved. Biking. Making stuff on the regular. Getting massage. Going outside. Going camping.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Depression. Brain weasels. Dealing with moving apartments crap.

21. How did you spend Christmas? What was the best gift this Christmas?
I spent Christmas at my parents', as usual. I didn't get any particularly exciting gifts from family, because I knew what I was getting: the all-my-colors octopus duvet cover, and the tool set that I specifically asked for. For the record, I am completely in love with the duvet cover, and it changes my entire room for the better. Mom's evil cat, Molly, finally let me pet her, which is pretty much a Christmas miracle.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
I fell in a whole lotta like in ways that became problematic because of situational crap.
Still loving on Will.

23. How many one-night stands?
I'm changing this question because its stupid. To "How many people did you kiss?"
The answer, I believe, is three.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Still watching S.H.I.E.L.D. Didn't watch much TV this year, though. I'm way behind on Capaldi's Doctor Who. I started Jessica Jones, and I'm planning on watching Daredevil and Leverage, though.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. I need to find a new question for this one.

26. What was the best book you read?
Oooh. I really enjoyed Rysa Walker's Chronos Files (yay kindle!), and I'm enjoying Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles audiobooks.

27. What was your greatest (musical?) discovery?
HAMILTON. Also Mouths of Babes

28. What did you want (to do) and get?
Got a reliable oven, people to go out and paddle on the water with (dragon boat team), new friends. A trip to Chicago. The aforementioned Christmas gifts.

29 What did you want and not get?
Still no dancing, still no century ride. Still no second sweetie. A bigger bedroom.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Inside Out. Star Wars: The Force Awakens was pretty cool, too.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. I was moving so soon after that so I didn't have a party. Went to see Lindsey Stirling play in Boston. Will got me an ice cream cake that I could actually eat. And Carolyn brought me cupcakes that I could actually eat. So that was pretty rad.

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Not having that horrible bout of depression. Actual gluten-free cheerios. Dating stuff working out differently.

33. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2015?
Heading away from practical-femme towards dapper/comfy

34. What kept you sane?
Will. Kitties. Friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't think I actually have an answer to this question right now.

36. What sociopolitical issue stirred you the most?
feminism.
gun violence
police brutality
the upcoming presidential election and its ensuing shitshow

37. What is one thing you would go back and re-do if you could?
Wouldn't have messed with my meds. (And during that depression, I would've said a bunch of other things, too.)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I'm going to angle this slightly, but deciding to be friends with Aria has made my life a lot more awesome.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Adulting is hard, yo. But satisfying when it works. Will really has my back. I have quality humans in my life.




(Aaaand, previous years' for comparison..... the tag goes back to 2004)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Got a job in my field. Had an abusive boss. Ended a serious relationship. Came up with a plan.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any last year. We'll see about this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one particularly close… 'thene is pretty far away.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
Nothing beyond hell in my own mind.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Sanity. Myself back. Enough money to get by without continuing debt. Hope even through the end of the year.

7. What dates from 2011 will be forever etched in your memory?
I don't think there are any specific dates, but November as the month of two serious break-ups.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing physical beyond some frustrating tendinitis. Emotional/mental health took some real hard hits this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
MacBook Air is pretty great.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Not mine. Laura, back towards the beginning of the year. Anthony, particularly between April and now.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine. Laura, a lot.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Fluevogs. Small space design blogs. Creating my loft bed. Laura.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
You know, I have no idea. I am pretty much ready to forget 2011.

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? richer, but still not getting by, and with much less hope.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Actually making things. Seeing friends. Doing stuff for me/not waiting for others.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas at my parents', as usual.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Heh. Fall further, perhaps. And it blew up in my face.

22. How many one-night stands?
Er. None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Dr. Who, hands down. (It might've also been the only show I watched at all.)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. But there is certainly someone I am very angry with who I will not be ready to talk to for a long time. I suppose I might hate my former bosses… I didn't know them last year.

25. What was the best book you read?
I have done an appallingly low amount of reading this year… Heading to the eye doctor in a few days to figure out why my eyes keep unfocusing on my reading. I did really enjoy World War Z.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Fay Wolf's new album is pretty great.

27. What did you want to do and get?
Get a job in my field. Get to be a massage therapist at a holistic wellness center. Date Laura. Started yoga teacher training.

28. What did you want and not get?
A decent paycheck. Friends in the area. A continued relationship with Laura. Hope.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't remember going to the movies, but I think Scott Pilgrim and the Seven Evil Exes was pretty enjoyable.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28. I don't think I did anything particularly interesting that day. I had a big barbecue later in June.

31. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Only one thing? How about not losing my best friend.

32. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2011?
I have learned to embrace yoga/sweat pants… between work and yoga teacher training, I seem to wear them a ton. Wearing jeans is kind of a treat. Vibram Fivefingers on my feet.

33. What kept you sane?
Wait, I've been sane? Maybe Kaylee, who has been sitting on me a lot. Anthony has helped a lot with keeping stuff going, too, even though that relationship also gave me some crazy.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Probably still David Tennant.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The economy/Occupy movement

36. What is one thing you would go back and re-do if you could?
Ooh. Loaded question. One thing? Maybe ever dating Laura. The up was just not worth the crushing down.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Probably one of my new coworkers, Alison.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Maybe I actually do just have to do everything on my own.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"And there's things I'd like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you'll never see it happen"

"And this is the last time
We'll be friends again
I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am"

"Taste the salt and taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming to take me
Home
And I've never been so alone"

All from Third Eye Blind's "Motorcycle Drive By"



(Aaaand, previous years' for comparison..... the tag goes back to 2004.)

And now for 2009 Year in Review: (first sentence/bit of first post each month)

January (1): I wound up getting to go up to the party at the Castle last night, even though I didn't think I'd manage due to snow.

February (1): I am so tired. Apparently I'm not really sleeping again, though at least I am sleeping a little.

March (1): You ever feel like a day was made just for you? I woke up yesterday morning and stretched across the bed, found a kitten sleeping on either side of me.

April (2): April Fool's Day: best day to officially start a relationship ever.

May (6): Apparently when I have some things in my life that are going really well and I feel satisfied with, the unsatisfying bits show up with more glaring contrast.

June (5): Terrible horrible no good very bad dreams all morning. Dreamt it was snowing; I was angry that it is a week before my birthday and snowing and I'm supposed to leave.

July (20 - not writing much, apparently): OMG, my artwork is for sale in Cambridge Naturals in Porter Square!!! A real shop with real walls and floors and PEOPLE.

August (3): Hello, world. I am, I think, off the no-sugar diet for now. Yesterday I ordered the cake for my party and wound up with an ice cream cone.

September (3): Oh, things and stuff. I went to see a naturopathic doctor yesterday.

October (5): I've been writing a little about my experiments in not eating gluten, and how much better I feel. It is not 100%, but it is a huge difference.

November (Uhh, I didn't post at ALL in November) ... here's Oct 30: I have been on a complete purging and reorganizing binge.

December (1): *sigh* Do you ever have days where it just feels like, if there is a god, it really really hates you?


Holy crow, I need to write more. Whoops.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Had sex with a boy. Maintained a healthy relationship. Didn't go home for Thanksgiving. Took out student loans. Baked bread. Went on a strict diet. Got my artwork in a shop. Broke a bone.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My Resolution Revolution words this year were explore and center. I'm not sure how well I did, really. Most of my plans and plots for the year were thrown off by uncontrollable circumstances (stupid illness).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Not even any new states. Barely any old states.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Health. A home. A solid career, though that'll wait 'til school is done, I suppose, so how about prospects. (To know what the heck I'm doing.) More visiting with friends.

7. What dates from 2009 will be forever etched in your memory?
Feb 19. April 1.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Oh goodness. This is an incredibly hard question. Probably deciding to go to school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being ready for the holiday season, business-wise. Even though it's because I got so sick, I still feel like it's a huge failure; last year I promised myself I'd be ready for it this year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry. Just. Yeah. In 3 months I went from being able to pick up and bike 30 miles for the hell of it to not being able to walk the half mile downhill to the T without feeling dead. Stupid fucking gluten. Also, still healing from breaking my left foot falling down the stairs the week of Thanksgiving.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My computer? School, I hope... I already paid for the first semester.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Anthony. For so many reasons. But mostly for being such a help as I've been so sick, for being almost-constant support, for being solid and letting me feel so much more centered and secure. Some of my housemates for helping out when I'm sick and broken. Sylvia, Kori and Jess for taking care of my broken foot-ness, too.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My doctor. My digestive system. Anthony, for driving me bonkers. :p Mine, often.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Let's see. The money I don't have went to school. The money I did have went to rent and weird food to try and compensate for allergies. My computer was my biggest purchase of the year, but man did I buy a lot of weird flours.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Remembering how to make friends. Teaching. Anthony. Getting my artwork into a shop. Getting my own press. Baking stuff without normal ingredients.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
This Is Everything - Tegan & Sara - Under Feet Like Ours

a handful of mostly a cappella songs from that playlist of Anthony's
(ie Transit's version of Hide and Seek)


17. Compared to this time last year are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, for sure.
ii. thinner or fatter? oh god, fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? the same.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Artwork. Keeping in touch and seeing friends.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being sick. Feeling sorry for myself.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent Christmas at my parents', as usual. This year was a bit rough, what with my food issues. But I made out like a bandit.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Yes, yes I did.

22. How many one-night stands? Okay, so, I don't really *do* one-night stands.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Dr. Who

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Again: I don't think I've had reason to hate anyone this year. I'm not so big on hating.

25. What was the best book you read? Hmmmmm. I didn't manage to catalogue my reading this year. What on earth did I read? Right now I'm working on the Outlander series again, which is always delicious. I know I read a bunch, I'm just mostly blanking right now.

Ooh, I know. Gluten-Free Girl by Shauna Ahern has really helped me out with feeling better about food crap.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmm. Lately I've been listening to a lot of a cappella.

27. What did you want to do and get?
Bought my own printing press! Got a kitchenaid stand mixer for Christmas.

28. What did you want and not get?
Time visiting far-away friends. A solid etsy niche for my artwork, and a better work ethic for it, too.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Coraline (3D) or Up

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 26, though I think I'm stuck in my head at 25. I was recently home from Spring; I think I spent it with Anthony.

31. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying? Being able to eat proper food/not being sick from food/not being allergic to gluten.

32. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2009? Actually trying to look like a girl sometimes. Sweaters, this winter. Long socks, as usual.

33. What kept you sane? Anthony. My cats. Talking to Laura. Yoga, but I sure didn't do enough of it. Bike rides. Storytime.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
David Tennant.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Um. Head in sand, all them folks denying gay marriage suck.

36. What is one thing you would go back and re-do if you could? I doubt I'd have any control over it the second time around, but can we please quit this food allergy crap?

37. Who was the best new person you met? Hm. Cera's fun at work.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
I can't do everything by myself. But I can do a lot, when I put my mind to it.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Can I come back to this question?


Hoo boy. It has both been an incredibly long and very quick year. The biggest things in it have been Anthony and my health, with a few other points of interest throughout.

(Aaaand, previous years' for comparison..... the tag goes back to 2004.)