Mar. 21st, 2015

catling42: (Default)
Tonight, just now, I decided to stop being stressed out. It was kind of amazing.

I spent a couple hours earlier this evening talking to Sarah about my various woes--my current career path seems to cap out at just-barely-making-it-if-I'm-busting-ass, thinking about moving in the fall when my lease is up and how expensive the housing market is around here, how many injuries I've had in the past 10 months and what that means.

(Seriously, in June I got hit in the eye, developed a retinal tuft from that, and then had vertigo for two weeks. In October I badly sprained my left ankle, and was diagnosed with Sjögren's Syndrome. In January I got a cortisone shot in my right foot for Morton's Neuroma. February was depression-tastic. This past weekend I threw out my back. Something wants me to slow the heck down.)

Anyway. And then I let the brain weasels have some time looking at job ads (earlier it was looking at apartments) on craigslist and sort of came to the conclusion that I should just be me and everything will eventually work out. Maybe I need to stop pushing so hard, and then I'll get hurt less. Maybe eventually I'll figure out what it is I need to be putting into the universe to get back what I need. But I do need to start blogging, in a more professional sense, not just (incredibly sporadic) journalling here.

And I thought, well, today hasn't been such a bad day, despite my back being stiff and sore. I went to bed late after sketching for a while. I slept in, and woke to kitty snuggles. I journalled a bit. Will came over and took care of heavy and/or tall things that I shouldn't be doing yet, and we had a snuggle and chat. I made a card for my four-year-old "nephew," which involved lots of cutting and gluing of colorful papers (oh how I wish we lived closer to those friends and those kids). The brain weasels took over for a while midday, but then Sarah came by and we had sushi for dinner and watched the fish and talked. Not bad at all. Maybe if I can balance all the Things What Need Doing with some of this stuff, everything can actually be okay.

Now I just have to figure out how to implement the No More Stressing campaign. Unfortunately, I still have Unresolved Issues around yoga. Maybe one day I can get back to that. I've seen a new therapist twice so far, and I'm going back on Tuesday. I can't decide yet if she'll actually be helpful for me. I am skeptical. But then, I am generally the most skeptical and defiant ever, so I'm giving her a chance.

Also, it just occurred to me that when I am not making things on a somewhat regular basis, my body freaks out and breaks. Huh. Interesting.

I suppose now I should start with actually going to bed. Both cats are curled up tails over noses. My sleepytime tea is gone, so I'm out of excuses.
catling42: (letterpress)
I might need someone to tell me going back to school is not practical.


catling42: (Default)

January 2016


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